Alien No More

Nov. 28, 2009. 8:22 AM

This is my all-time favorite picture of my Roand. Taken 9 hours after he was born. See how he doesn't look like an alien now? He looks so...soft, so handsome, so innocent. He smelled of the freshest most innocent sweet scent that I wish I could keep in a bottle. I would stare at him then and smell him and stare at him. And fall in love with him. I didn't want to kiss him yet then, or carry him. I just wanted to stare at him. He looked so peaceful that I was scared I'd disturb that. He looked so peaceful I almost forgot the pain I went through in bringing him out to this world. And so I just watched him. And as I did, I felt all sorts of emotions that I can't explain. I felt overwhelmed with love and happiness, at the same time I was sad that his father couldn't see what I was seeing then. I felt scared. I suddenly felt unsure. I felt worried. Of what? I wasn't sure. But looking at him, something seemed to wash away all my worries and questions. Then I was left with feelings of extreme happiness, pride and love.

That day, I felt I was born too. I felt anew. I felt I was given a second chance to make things right. This  tiny new life gave me a new one back.

Why? Does He Look Like an Alien?

Who does? My baby boy that's who...! That was actually my exact first thought the first time we met. Sometime in between me still moaning from the pain of afterbirth and the OB-GYNE excavating the insides of my uterus for left-over placenta fragments, blood clots and whatever, the nurse showed me my first-born. She held my little boy to my cringing face and said "Here's your baby mommy!" I gulped, suddenly feeling numb of all the pain, and said to myself... "Why does he look like an alien?"  It was a brief moment but I remember well how he looked. He was all wrinkly and his head was sort of cone-shaped which I think was my fault because I didn't push well. He held up his tiny tiny wrinkly hands that looked a little like a crooked old man's hands having a seizure. His cheeks were swollen, his eyes were puffy... from crying maybe? He drew his brows, wrinkled his forehead and curiously peered and blinked repeatedly as if the light hurt his eyes, and he looked a little cross-eyed as he tried to focus his eyes.

Then as if in slow-motion, our eyes met, I instantly felt the connection. Then I choked, he was the most beautiful baby alien I have ever seen.

My husband, who was out of the country,
called hours after I gave birth.
His first question was, "Kumpleto ba?"