{repost from my fb account}
So it's mother's day and it's supposed to be my day because of the obvious reason that I gave birth to a baby boy named Roand Gwapo (and lived to tell the tale). Does that make me a mother? But of course YES! Because I let my body morph to accomodate a demanding fetus, not to mention the spiderwebs on my tummy and legs that I still have to remind me of how much I had morphed; Because I took all the prenatal vits. and milk even when it made me gag because I knew it was for the baby; Because I gave up my unhealthy habits to make sure the baby's own health won't be jeopardized; Because I would talk to my baby and play with him even when he was still in my womb; Because I prayed each night thanking the heavens for the tiny blessing and that Roand would be a healthy baby.
But being a mother doesn't stop there. It was just the beginning. After I gave birth and after the ordeal I went through, I thought I was ready for anything - the sleepless nights, the explosive diapers and projectile urine, doing the laundry, feeding the baby, the endless game of picking up toys, etc etc. I was... I really was. And so the first year of motherhood went quite okay, and I did good, if I may say so myself.
But lately, I realized, things doesn't get easier in motherhood. My real troubles as a mother began when Roand learned to walk, to climb, to go down from the bed, to jump, to run, to throw tantrums, and that there's a whole wide world for him to explore. He is more than ready to do that and I wasn't. I am not. He's a brave, strongheaded little one who wouldn't take no for an answer but loves to say "No!" I know for a fact that toddlers go through this phase but no matter how much information I have about it, I still wasn't ready.
I can't help but miss the quiet times when he was little-er. As a baby, he hardly ever cries, (but drools a lot), he was contented in his playpen, he eats anything I give him (and everything I don't). Now everything went topsy-turvy. He would cry quite loudly when he gets frustrated, (still drools a lot), he doesn't want to get stuck in one place, and he doesn't seem to like anything that I feed him (but likes everything I don't give him like the 25 cents he found in a corner). He climbs up and down chairs, beds, and basically anything he could climb. Although I'm proud that he's really brave to do so, sometimes I wish he was scared to even try. I can't be on guard all the time, and he hates it when I'm hovering by his side all the time that he literally rans away from me, and so the inevitable bruises and bumps here and there. And me scolding almost evey minute to remind him not to play with the water dispenser, to stay away from the electricfan, not to play with plugs, to stop putting things in his mouth, to go down from the chair, to stop licking the mirror, to please eat his meal, to sit on his potty when he goes number 2, to put down the puppy and leave the puppy alone (I don't know why but he wants to put the puppy into the dustpan using a broom and if he can't, he'll carry the poor pup and drop it into the dustpan)... I swear this little kiddo drives me to my wits' end. Sometimes I would wonder, how am I surviving each day? And when I look at Roand sleeping peacefully, I still feel my heart well up and fall in love with him again, I would know why.
And I would remember, the day didn't go that bad, not at all. In fact today, despite the fact that Roand is being his kulit self, we had our moments.
-This morning, it was raining and Roand and I watched the rain and tried to catch raindrops then he decided to go down and play in the rain, and so I said no, cue for a tantrum. So I brought him to our room to let him cry some more while explaining why he can't play in the rain. He was still crying when I went to the window and watched the rain. He stopped and asked me to carry him. And so we were both watching the rain when I rested my head on the window... Roand peered and looked at me and pulled my head from the window as if telling me not to be sad anymore (I don't know, I felt sad). Then he smiled at me, so I smiled back. Then we just giggled and laughed.
-Late afternoon, as usual Roand was being hyper and all so I decided to take him out on a walk . We just walked around the block, holding hands. He just walked with me, didn't run or anything, just held on to my hand. Then when we reached our Aunt's house, he pulled me to the mini-garden and sat there. So we just sat there briefly and watched the sky. Then we walked again, hand in hand.
And then he was back to being hyper and remembered to throw a tantrum of course.
Happy mother's day to me... ;-*
And happy mother's day to all other mommies! How did your day go mom? =D
